Growing up, my culture and family education shaped me to be very submissive to my environment, which sometimes means being highly adaptive to changing environment, but other times means being lack of self-stance. I used to be attracted to people that have strong opinions towards things because I didn't possess that quality myself. Time proved that I was just not a confident individual that is comfortable enough to voice my thoughts, because I did have my own thoughts. Now, after being away from my Chinese culture and parents' close supervision for four years and after seeking and finding my way into the Financial industry, I am much more comfortable voicing my thoughts and thinkings. And knowing when to voice and what to voice became one of the strengths I have.
Being able to talk about what I think and being able to say "no" to people I care about are still different stories.
I grew to learn that whether it's friendship or romantic relationship, being able to say "no" actually contributes to strengthening the relationships Whenever we say "yes" to people with full willingness, we would enjoy the time no matter what happens. However, if the "yes" contains some unwillingness, even if it's a little bit, the whole experience would not be as enjoyable. In that case, saying "no" might save you time battling with your own feelings or regretting. After all, if the relationship is truly strong, then there should be no hard feelings on "no"s.
It is amazing to see myself saying no to many things that I would have said yes last year this time. I am proud to say that I've grown so much since then.
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Clubbing: Flower vs Butterflies
Going clubbing is definitely something that's over-rated by mass young adults. I always wonder what all the probable reasons are that people would want to stand in line for hours and pay $20 cover to get in to clubs.
For me, dancing is such an enjoyable thing, I get satisfied dancing at the same spot all night after several drinks. However, in general there is always SOMETHING one is hunting for when they get into this dark loud chaotic environment. whether it is to have an eye feast of girls in short skirts, crop tops and high heels(or hot guys with muscles) or to potentially make out with someone cute, get their number and even hook up at some point.
Having been in a long distance relationship and going to clubs, I couldn't make out with anyone or give out my numbers what so ever, it could get pretty boring, ending up missing my boyfriend much more. If it was not the music and the dance floor, I would definitely pass. Meanwhile, having been in this situation gave me a new perspective- I was calm enough to be extra-observant and highly aware of the dynamics in my environment...I could sense how desperate someone is and how bored some others are. And a lot of scenes became just as entertaining as funny video clips on Youtube. It's quite the different kind of entertainment. Surprisingly when I was not actively seeking anyone, I was much more absorbed into the music as I was truly enjoying my moments dancing and singing. I also had the courage to talk to random cute guys about what they expected to get out the night out. As my curiosity on people's intentions elevates after couple glasses of wine, I would talk to more and more people throughout the night and enjoy every conversation I had and learn something out of each of those conversations. Now that I am single but don't want to jump into any relationships, I still take the observer/ interviewer view when I go out, while guys would be everywhere trying to grind up on me.
My conclusion is: With inner confidence and calmness comes attraction. There is an old Chinese saying: As the flower blossom, butterflies come. I can't help but continue with the logic behind that saying. Biologically, different flowers attract different butterflies; how the flower demonstrates herself will send a specific vibe to butterflies, with which only the butterflies that are attracted to that vibe would fly close and dancing around the flower. Doesn't that also apply to human beings?
For me, dancing is such an enjoyable thing, I get satisfied dancing at the same spot all night after several drinks. However, in general there is always SOMETHING one is hunting for when they get into this dark loud chaotic environment. whether it is to have an eye feast of girls in short skirts, crop tops and high heels(or hot guys with muscles) or to potentially make out with someone cute, get their number and even hook up at some point.
Having been in a long distance relationship and going to clubs, I couldn't make out with anyone or give out my numbers what so ever, it could get pretty boring, ending up missing my boyfriend much more. If it was not the music and the dance floor, I would definitely pass. Meanwhile, having been in this situation gave me a new perspective- I was calm enough to be extra-observant and highly aware of the dynamics in my environment...I could sense how desperate someone is and how bored some others are. And a lot of scenes became just as entertaining as funny video clips on Youtube. It's quite the different kind of entertainment. Surprisingly when I was not actively seeking anyone, I was much more absorbed into the music as I was truly enjoying my moments dancing and singing. I also had the courage to talk to random cute guys about what they expected to get out the night out. As my curiosity on people's intentions elevates after couple glasses of wine, I would talk to more and more people throughout the night and enjoy every conversation I had and learn something out of each of those conversations. Now that I am single but don't want to jump into any relationships, I still take the observer/ interviewer view when I go out, while guys would be everywhere trying to grind up on me.
My conclusion is: With inner confidence and calmness comes attraction. There is an old Chinese saying: As the flower blossom, butterflies come. I can't help but continue with the logic behind that saying. Biologically, different flowers attract different butterflies; how the flower demonstrates herself will send a specific vibe to butterflies, with which only the butterflies that are attracted to that vibe would fly close and dancing around the flower. Doesn't that also apply to human beings?
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